you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize