the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize