Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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