you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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