i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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