Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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