Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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