Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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