You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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