well I can't set my house on fire every night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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