If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize