I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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