She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pooping to opera.
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