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i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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