After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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