I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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