I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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