you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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