They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize