So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize