What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize