Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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