there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize