I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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