My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize