6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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