Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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