Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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