i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I did not marry a roomba.
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