why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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