so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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