god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize