FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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