you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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