Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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