Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize