Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize