pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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