There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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