I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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