I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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