how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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