Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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