I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize