hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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