She is in my trunk
"it" just moved
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am midnight drunk by noon
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we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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