so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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