No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize