I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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