my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
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I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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